and she stared at the world...






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Monday, October 02, 2006
some days go by. i wish i were famous...or maybe religious.

My feet hurt.

I'm sick of being under pressure.

I'm sick of feeling lonely and saying nothing important even if important things are being discussed.

I'm sick of feeling insignificant and of struggling to be known when it never works.

I'm so sick of not being able to write what I feel because I'm too tired or too anxious or too busy.

The career center adviser told me that my cover letter was "devoid of personality."

I have to read about the UK and their parliamentary system. And I have to decide which political party I would support if I lived in Britain.

I want to do something else. I never thought I'd say this, but I wish I were a sophomore in high school again and I didn't eat so much and I didn't talk so much so I had more to say on paper.

Too bad. No do-overs.

I'm sick of playing by the rules. I'm sick of searching for things that I won't ever find.

The career center adviser told me my cover letter was bad because I was trying to fit myself into this pre-set mold that didn't flow. She said I had to break out of it.

It's like this hero-journey thing I'm learning about in English class. It's a cycle that never gets any easier. Birth - death - rebirth. Repeat.

Posted at 08:38 pm by catherine
5 cared enough to share

Friday, September 29, 2006
Hmm...social conscience vs. feeling cute...

Aghhh! I'm so sick of not having money!

I have learned my lesson. I will never speed again.

I miss having decent skin and hair and I want to buy the entire American Eagle store.

Plus, I need to start Christmas shopping.

Oh, consumerism. Is it called that because we consume so much or because it consumes us?

That's deep. Riiiight.




"The Days Go By Oh So Slow"
Nightmare of You
By Nightmare of You



Posted at 10:23 pm by catherine
do it. i dare you.

Sunday, September 17, 2006
i am not a pretty girl

I don't know if I'm okay with that.

Maybe everyone needs to be rescued sometimes.

Posted at 11:11 pm by catherine
do it. i dare you.

i'm a stalker

It's so random who you run into. I wonder if it's fate or just random chance.
What does it all meeeeeeeeeean?

Oh, the existential angst.

Regardless of whether I matter or I really am just an insignificant speck in a random universe, it matters to my professor that I turn this paper in at noon tomorrow. And I still have a page to write.

Why am I even an English major? This is so painstaking.

Change of subject...

I want everyone to be happy. Try hard, everyone.


Posted at 10:29 pm by catherine
do it. i dare you.

Sunday, September 10, 2006
I miss this.

Cant you see that its just raining
Aint no need to go outside...
But Baby, You hardly even notice
When I try to show you this
Song is meant to keep ya
From doing what your supposed to
Like waking up too early
Maybe we can sleep in
Ill make you banana pancakes
Pretend like its the weekend now

And we could pretend it all the time
Cant you see that its just raining
Aint no need to go outside

But just maybe, laka ukulele
Mommy made a baby
Really don't mind the practice
Cause your my little lady
Lady lady love me
Cause I love to lay here lazy
We could close the curtains
Pretend like there's no world outside

And we could pretend it all the time
Cant you see that its just raining
Aint no need to go outside
Aint no need aint no need Mmmm MMmmm
Cant you see cant you see
Rain all day
And I don't mind.

The telephone is singing
Ringing its too early
Don't pick it up
We don't need to we got everything
We need right here
And everything we need is enough
Just so easy
When the whole world fits inside of your arms
Don't really need to pay attention to the alarm
Wake up slow, yeah wake up slow
You hardly even notice
When I try to show you this
Song is meant to keep ya
From doing what your supposed to
Like waking up too early
Maybe we can sleep in
Ill make you banana pancakes
Pretend like its the weekend now

And we could pretend it all the time
Can't you see that it's just raining
Aint no need to go outside
Aint no need, Aint no need
Rain all day and I really really really don't mind
Can't you see cant you see,
You gotta wake up slow


Banana Pancakes
In Between Dreams
By Jack Johnson



Posted at 10:04 pm by catherine
do it. i dare you.

Monday, September 04, 2006
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

aaaaaaaaaaargh.

Posted at 08:24 pm by catherine
do it. i dare you.

Friday, August 18, 2006
i mss y s mch tht t hrts m hd


Posted at 03:28 pm by catherine
do it. i dare you.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006
september never stays this cold

I want an apartment.

Posted at 06:30 pm by catherine
do it. i dare you.

Monday, May 15, 2006
i feel like a quote out of context

I haven't even written anything about my self-obsessed neuroses and I'm already sick of myself.

What if I use obligations and responsibilities to avoid making my own choices? To avoid making friends? To avoid the unknown? What if I plan every second of my day just so I'm never caught off-guard?

I'm kind of afraid to stop worrying about what everyone else wants because it means I have to know what I want. And I don't.

I think that deep down, I am a superficial (how ironic), uninteresting girly-girl with no sense of self. That's not good, is it?

I wish I could be different.

P.S. I am disgusting.


"Best Imitation of Myself"
Ben Folds Five
By Ben Folds Five



Posted at 11:30 pm by catherine
1 cared enough to share

Wednesday, May 10, 2006
so close, but so far

The usual "Finals week will never endddddddd" sentiments don't seem forceful enough to describe how slow the time is going.

I'm stuck on my paper.

I wanted to finish it tonight.

Boooooooo.                       

Posted at 06:24 pm by catherine
do it. i dare you.

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